Aug. 7th, 2013

jalynski: (Default)
1. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
2. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
3. I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather, not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
4. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
5. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
6. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
7. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
8. We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.
Read more... )

Вообще-то вон они где все:
http://www.onelinerz.net/top-100-funny-one-liners/
jalynski: (Default)
Однажды я молился: Господи, даруй мне велосипед!
Потом я понял, что с Господом такое не проходит, и я украл велосипед.
Теперь моя главная молитва: Господи, прости мой грех!
Это работает!

И еще:
Тот, кто говорит, что у него чистая совесть, обычно страдает плохой памятью.

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jalynski: (Default)
jalynski

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